I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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