If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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