i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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