We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
