It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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