I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
