Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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