so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
