apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
