Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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