This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
