bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
