I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
