the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
