He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize