drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I haven't been this sober since birth.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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