He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
