dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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