Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize