Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
