all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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