I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
