Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Randomize
