All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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