it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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