i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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