But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
