why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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