thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize