I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
