seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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