This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize