Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
