he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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