U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
