Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
