Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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