Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize