I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
