Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
