People with herpes should wear stickers.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You need Xanax blowdarts
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
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