How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Randomize
