Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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