did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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