U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
