I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
