so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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