How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
