She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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