Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
