Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
