Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
