I'm really into asian looking animals
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
