dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Randomize
