I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
