I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
