ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
