I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
