Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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