Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
