White coat. Heels.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
